fighting for me

written 2 days ago

I must say, being a parent has definitely helped me see different characteristics of God that I thought I once understood. Most recent has been these past 11 days when Cap has been sick. What started out to be a little runny poop, turned into a little drippy nose, then waking up in the morning with boogers plastered all over his face, couldn't eat well because he couldn't breathe, then a fever, then some more poop, then boogers all over the house and all over every piece of clothing article, then less snot, less runny poop, now a stuffy nose and a cough. Ugh. What makes it so hard is that Cap is 11 months old and doesn't understand what is going on with his body!

Nursing went something like this this past week.

Suck, suck suck. Breathe....breathe.... Suck, suck suck. Breathe....breathe....

Sad eyes stare into mine and little small whine asking for help.

I rub his face, stroke his hair, and tell him I am so sorry he can't breathe very good.

I would say I am a compassionate person. I don't like to see anyone or thing hurting. I don't like animals but I have ALMOST adopted some dogs along the way because they needed a home and crossed my path. In my 3 trips over to Africa, I am surprised I didn't come home with a son or daughter! I don't like to see things homeless, unloved, or hurt. It makes my stomach sick.

But now I have this son. My son. Half me, half Bryce who God has given in our care to love, grow, nurture and let go. When he doesn't feel good, it makes me sick to a completely new level. I feel stuff in my insides that I never felt before. What love I have for him! I quickly think of my heavenly Father. What love He has for us!!! There is something just eye opening about His love for us, His children.

Just like Cap was trying to figure out his body and what was going on with it, I very much see God and me in that also. Things going on, trials and persecutions, sickness, lack of friendships...etc. I try to figure it all out and sort through emotions and feelings and truths, and God who sees all and knows what is happening is sitting there telling me. Stroking my hair, letting me lay my head on Him, fighting for me as I am still.

Man, the God who laid the earths foundation and marked off its dimensions fights for me. The God who tells the lightning bolts where to go and tips the water jars from heaven, fights for you. The God who brings forth the constellations in the their seasons and gives the horse its strength fights for us.

Their is much to learn and take from in this whole parent thing. Praying for open ears to hear.

shoes and shirt

The boy needed some new shoes. I got his last pair at Target. They were a nice leather pair and still made you feel like you were barefoot which is what we want for him. However, they were $15 and fit him for about 7 weeks may be a little less. So, just like me, I get the idea that I can just make his shoes. Though they seemed simple, I went ahead and bought a pattern for about $4 from Etsy. It saved me some time creating one myself and it also came from 0-18 months. Unfortunately, Cap is already at the 18 months shoes size (and they are almost too small:( , but it will still come in handy to have all these sizes. These are great little shoes and there really is a lot of flexibility in the material you can use and even appliques for the top. I kept it simple with just a circle. They fit good and keep his little feet warmer during this season.

I am also needing a few short sleeve shirts for the summer. So I decided to take a couple of goodwill shirts and make him one to start out with. I accidentally made it with long sleeves like the last shirt I made him, but I am just going to cut them down when the time comes. I will go back to goodwill for a few more shirts so I can get his stash to a few more. Since we will be moving right as the weather is changing I wanted to get a head start on these. It turned out good except the neck. The material wasn't as stretchy as it needed to be to get over a big noggin. The shirt is too big yet the neck hole is barely big enough right now. So...I will have to redo it when I get different material. Too bad. This shirt is so easy to make!!! If I had the material I could probably make about 5 in one day working only during his naps and finishing them up after he goes to bed for the night.

Anyways, here is to some handmade goodies. Have lots more in mind! Enjoy!

O...O...O

We do lots of fun stuff outside. We definitely live in a great place to explore for hours, but even if we didn't, we would sure make a point to surround ourselves with nature somewhere. I think it is critical for kids AND adults to be outside more. We all could use some good ol' Vitamin D!

Cap has enjoyed for a long time now taking objects out of something and putting them back in. I took one of my flower pots and piled some rocks inside. He will sit there and play with those rocks for quite awhile. When we see those same type rocks out and about he says "o...o" and points to the rock. He picks it up and holds on to it till somehow it gets dropped out of his hands.

We also really like playing in the dirt. He likes to take the dirt and throw it out of the pot. He could do this for a really long time!!! However, we have taught him not to pull on plants and flowers, but to be gentle and leave them alone. He does not understand the word gentle necessarily, but he knows to just pat them softly and not pull them.

cutest little smiles

i LOVE the next 3

"o...o...o"

of course we have dirt on our hat

we played hard!

Get outside! Enjoy!

the things we do

I am on a new search to find better more creative things to do with Cap these days. It is easy to look at your day in "rounds".

Ding, Ding, Ding. Round 1, we awake. Nap #1, Round 1 over. Ding, Ding, Ding. Round 2, he awakes. Nap #2, Round 2 over. Ding, Ding, Ding. Round 3, he awakes. We finish out the day. Go to sleep. Round 3 over. Game. (or whatever you are supposed to say in boxing)

Most people would admit to look at their day like this every so often. The ones who don't, well, they aren't telling the truth! :) I am on a mission not to just go through the motions, but to live a creative and full life! I struggle with figuring out to do with Cap since he is still so young. Every month, our list grows. When days are nice outside, it is very easy. He loves being outside exploring. But when it is cold, rainy, and blowing like crazy, we both have a hard time lasting inside for too long.

I am hoping to start posting activities to do with little ones give or take around Cap's age. I know I am not the only one trying to come up with good stuff to do with your kids.

This past weekend was a very wet and cold one so it was time to try something new. Cap painted his first 'Masterpiece'. We set the stage while he was napping. We taped a huge piece of plastic to the ground. You could easily use a tablecloth or something similar. I put 2 colors of paint in their own little bowl and had a 3rd color on standby. We had a canvas, a brush, and a sponge. I showed him once how to do it and then he took off on his own.

This would be a wonderful rainy day activity, but also great on a nice day. I knew I was going to put him straight in the bath, but if you were outside you could just hose your kid down. I used a washable tempera paint. There are TONS of homemade paint recipes that I found after I bought these. So I will try some of those next. Even though it said washable I still took his clothes off because you just never know.

I can't say he loved this activity. However, he hadn't been feeling good and I don't think the timing was right for him. He has been super attached to me lately and this was an activity I didn't want him in my lap doing at the time. I think he just wanted me to hold him! Next time I will remember that and have my clothes ready to get painted on! He enjoyed the 45 minute bath afterwards much more this time around.

Cap was signing to go potty. I think he just wanted up!!!

So now we are undies-less!

This is where we called it quits.

I forgot to take a picture of his final art! Will post it next time!

Enjoy!

11 Months

This past month felt big. Cap is a super sponge. His ability to grasp things and imitate the world around him has grown huge the last few weeks. He saying so much and signing and trying to copy what we are doing all the time. What a big difference from 1 month to the next. It is amazing what a child learns in 1 year time. Here are a few things Cap is up to these days.

- starting to sign for potty, this one is huge!!!

- hardly sits, always stands (since the beginning really)

- terrible rash AGAIN, have no idea what to do, he is never wet???

- points to the bird, monkey, and fish in our bath book

- likes to copy sounds and facial expressions

- will finally happily ride in the back of our backpack carrier

- extremely mechanical

- is not okay with us making something work, wants to know how we made it work, and then wants to try it out himself

- collects rocks

- tries to scan my debit card when we buy groceries (only time he comes out of the cart is when we are checking out because he MUST help me with the card scanner)

- we had our first time EVER wake up at 2 or 3am (don't remember exactly) and did not go back to sleep for the night experience...ouch!!!! we still have no idea why???

- 2 nights later he was up and off and on crying for 3 hours!!! Only done that one other time ever. Has slept great every since then.

- very in to toilet paper right now

- had no problem dropping the 3rd (out of 4) feedings, but now he is SUPER into nursing on the 3 feedings he does have....more into than he ever has been...this boy is so funny!

- very inconsistent length sleeper, we know exactly when he will go asleep (and he will always remind you:) but the length is a mystery. could be a 45 minute nap, could be 2 1/2 hours...and there is nothing to predict it either. every since he was sick between 9 - 10 months his night sleep has been the same. he may sleep 11 hours, he may sleep 12 1/2 hours. it doesn't matter if he goes to sleep at 6:30pm or 7:00pm, you never know when he will wake up.

- loves being outside...I have said this one before, but he goes a little crazy after being stuck inside for a few days due to the weather. We went into a store yesterday and the closer we got to the door he started screaming and fighting me because he did not want to go inside. He has never really done that, but he is justing missing being outside.

- painted his first picture

- soaking it all in!!!

Enjoy!

the boy was not happy about laying on his back!

not the usual close up but this is all he would let me get

Pops and things

I have many things brewing waiting to be posted this week. I will try to separate them out a little or I might just go posting crazy!

First off, it is my dad's birthday today!!!! Happy birthday Pops!!! Thanks to leap year you get an extra day to your birthday month this year. I hope you enjoy it and we love you!

Cap is 11 months old today. We are almost celebrating his 1st birthday! Very exciting! I will do his post later on.

Last for this brief update are some pictures of Jeromy, Brittany, and Leo. Last I have heard, they are doing good and managing the lack of sleep quite well at this point. There is nothing like bringing your child home. Keep up the good work. I know you guys are making great parents.

More updates coming up!!

Mr. Leo

My brother Jeromy and his wife Brittany had their first son born on February 5 (my birthday!!!). His name is Leo Knox Speciale and he is a cutie. I can hardly stand not buying a ticket to go see them right now! Have searched flights last night and again this morning. I will hold you soon Mr. Leo! Congratulations Jer and Britt. Welcome to the hardest best job you will ever take on. Praying for the both of you!

3 Decades

Today I have completed my 3rd decade living on this earth. I have heard a few times recently "Can you believe you are turning 30?". Well, yes and no. I went on a walk around camp with Cap yesterday and my mind starting going through all the things I have seen, been, and done in the last 10 years. It has been a beautiful journey. May be sometimes time seems to go by too fast, but most of the time, it is just exactly how it should be. Life is not flying before my eyes, but I make a honest effort not to let it. In most ways, we have sought out a simplified lifestyle and way of living so that as life races on downhill it doesn't grab our hand and drag us along hitting us on every bump, river and tree along the way. We would much rather walk down the trail taking notice of the lilies that bloom, the wind that blows the trees, and the ones who are hiking around us.

There are so many things to remember about the last decade. I wanted to write a bunch of them down. I am so thankful to be a daughter of the King who has given abundant life! So many blessings!

Earned my Bachelors Degree

Traveled 3 times to Africa

Fell in love to a man named Danger then married him as quick as I could!

Ran 3 official ultra-marathons, one of them a 50-miler trail race, countless unofficial ones

Learned how to:

rock climb

backpack

trail run

knit

sew

Loved on many orphans

Loved on many outsiders and people in the margins

Listened to many hearts

Driven across country 5 times

Traveled to 14 new states (not including ones I have been to in previous decades)

Released an album

Had my heart broke and lived

Hiked to the top of the highest mountain in the lower 48 three times

Walked 1,050 miles in one go (border of Mexico to Lake Tahoe, California)

Grew a child inside of me and birthed him right on out

God told me to be a missionary

Lived in a National Park

Had dread locks for 4 years or so

Learned to like veggies and fruit

Lived out of my car twice

Lived in a tent

Married a man who once lived in a cave

Became an aunt and a "___"in-law

Baptized a friend in the Merced River

Love my parents and family more than ever

Shared Jesus to inmates many times in a high maximum security prison

Danced

Laughed

Cried

Planted many seeds and flowers

These hands have been used to feed hundreds of kids in Africa

They have touched, held, and loved many dear things

I love the Lord even more than I did 10 years ago

I found that I am beautifully knit by God

Became a homemaker

I really could go in such great detail all the wonderful things I have got to be a part of these last 10 years. I am thankful I journal and write because it is such a blessing to look back in time every once in awhile and see how God answers prayers. To see His hand in the little and big things of life. Though I do groan to be clothed in my heavenly dwelling, longing for my home in heaven, I am thankful for abundant life here on earth. Looking forward to more years to encourage, inspire, disciple and share the love of Christ to others.

EC Update

We tap our head when it is time for Cap to go to the potty. We started this may be a month or so ago. The sign for toilet is way to difficult for a 10 month old so I created one to replace it. We have really started to make a big deal about going potty and asking if he needs to go. Even getting excited when he goes even though he has been doing this for some time now. We think it has helped the screaming during the whole 60 seconds he has to lay on his back while I take off and put back on his diaper. ( the kid does not like to stop) Our main goal, however, was that he could sign to us when he needs to go instead of me trying to time it right every day.

He started using his sign immediately, but like all the other signs he knows so far, sometimes potty doesn't mean potty:) 95 percent of the time he would sign potty, we would take him even though we didn't think he needed to go. Some times he would go, other times he wouldn't. We wanted him to know that when he signs for it, we will take him. In the last 24 hours, he has signed every time he needed to go! This is HUGE! I am not counting on this being "it", you know, the big break through. But it is still big news for us. He would stop whatever it was he was doing, look at me, tap his head (sometimes say "oh"), and then I would put him on the pot and he would go. Crazy!!! One time he did it, and I really didn't think he needed to go (I was just wanting to finish what I was doing) and sure enough, right in his pants once he knew I wasn't taking him.

To say we are sold on EC is an understatement. We have seen the benefits since Cap was 4 weeks old. Anyone else reading this have their own EC experience? Have any questions or interest trying it out?

Well, no pic right now. Just a brief update!